Christmas shopping itself is tolerable... just barely. But if the crowds, the traffic and the general spirit of greed-in-a-hurry don't get to me, I can always count on the hideous "Xmas Tunez" (that musical wallpaper all the stores pipe in to set the holiday mood) to make my teeth hurt. Smooth-jazz-inflected, Top-40-ululating, soulful-country, hip-hoppalicious crap, usually conflating Santa, sex and materialism in some bizarre and thoroughly icky way.
Yesterday's worst offender; not exactly offensive, just vapid and intensely irritating:
"Ooh baby, I just wanna see Christmas / (see Christmas... see Christmas...) / Thruuu your eyyyes."
Sweet jumping Jesus in a hay-covered shoebox. Only 18 more days of this?
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When I was in Restoration Hardware a few days ago, I almost asked to see the manager so that I could thank him or her for NOT playing xmas music...almost all of which I LOATHE with the exception of "White Christmas" as sung by Bing Crosby.
I wanna see Xmas thru your eyes? What does that even MEAN? But yeah, gotta have a little Bing. And I know I'm alone in this, but... John Denver and the Muppets Christmas.
I'll let JR handle the John Denver comment... and I know she will.
Meanwhile, this explains a lot.
No, Kren, you are not alone. JD & the Mups was ALWAYS the first album my mom put on every year. I still love it and I wish I had the show on DVD. Does it exist?
Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas and Nat Cole's whole album are also mustolas.
And a more modern favorite for me is Chris Cornell <3 <3 <3 singing "Ave Maria" (sigh; flutter).
Ok, haven't heard the Chris Cornell "Ave Maria", and might need to. Another fave-- although it's a little too 80's in it's production (not in a good 80's way) is a version I have of Jon Anderson singing "Oh Holy Night". When he gets to the final "o night divine"... oh. my. god. Yeah, I know. UBER GEEK.
JD... and... the Mups.
My gorge just gave a little ol' giddyup right thar.
All we need now is a movie called "Mups at the Gugg"...
See, in a self-protective measure, my mind didn't even assimilate the reference to "JD & the Mups".
*yurk*
Oh dear god, please make it stop.
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